Cool New Jokes Part 1

Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??

Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

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Q – What is the difference between Mother & Wife?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Arts and Entertainment Articles

The New Maid

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, “Who is this?”
“This is the maid.”, answered the woman.
“We don’t have a maid!”
“I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house.”
“Well, this is her husband. Is she there?”
“Ummm …. she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband.”
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, “Listen, would you like to make $50,000?”
“What do I have to do?”
“I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with.”
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. “What should I do with the bodies?”
“Throw them in the swimming pool!”

“What?! There’s no pool here?”

Long pause… “Uh …. is this 832-4821?”

Beauty Articles

A Six foot cockroch

One day a man was sitting in his living room
watching tv when all of a sudden the doorbell
rang.The man then went to the door to see who
was there.When he opened the door he found a
six foot cockroch standing in front of him.
The cockroch then proceeded to punch him in
the face and leave.

The next day the man was
sitting in his living room watching tv when
then the doorbell rang.The man answered the
door and then again found himself staring at
the same cockroch that had hit him the day
before.Then the cockroch kicked him in the
shin and poked his eye out and then proceeded
to leave.

The next day the man was AGAIN
sitting in his living room watching tv when
the doorbell rang.And yet AGAIN the same
cockroch was standing there.Then the
cockroch stabbed him several times and then
yet again proceeded to leave.This time the
man managed to drag himself to his phone and
call the police.He was taken to the nearest
hospital and was kept there over night.The next
day the doctor came in to talk to the man
about what happened the night before.
“Tell me son”,the doctor asked,”what happened
last night?”
“I was attacked by a six foot cockroch!”,the
man replied.
“Yeah,I heard there was a “nasty bug” going
around.”

Finance Articles

urdu ke achche achche sms

GRAHAMBEL
found
telephone
EDISON
found
elctric bulb
MARCONI
found
radio
COLUMBUS
found
America
tu bas MOBile nu angutha marija nalayak!

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CHI CHANG CHEN LAINGUANG
THEIN CHI KWA SIAU CIE
WOHEN HAU NI THAZ THAZ HAO
SEING SHENG
pagal agar samajh mein nai aa raha to parh kyun rahe ho,,,,,

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Bewaquf ki 3 nishania;
1. miss call karega
2. SMS muskura k parhega or khud kabi nahi kare ga
3. Don’t scroll down
Jis baat se mana karo zarur karega.

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Bacha:”Mama kal papa kaam wali ko drawing room mein sofe per lita ker…
Mom:”Bus…! Abhi jab papa aayenge tou phir batana.”
Papa aate hain…
Maan bete se: “haan beta keya huwa tha?”
Beta: “Papa kaam wali ko drawing room mein sofe per lita ker, jo bashir uncle aapke saath karte hai na,
woh ker rahe the!

Credit & Loans Articles

The Wow Housewife

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”

Mortgage Articles